This was a mutant satire (could it be fairly called fan fiction?) that I wrote three years ago upon the release of “Avatar: The Way of Water.” It isn’t quite up to my current standards, but I had a fun time revisiting it. May it tide you wonderful readers over until I come up with something more meaningful to say about thi…

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I may or may not be upside down.

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In today’s competitive job market, people are doing anything they can to get ahead. From extensive networking to building a personal brand, there’s little people won’t entertain to stand out from the competition.

But according to recent research, among the best means we may have for boosting our prospects in …

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Perhaps it’s no secret that rap can get a “bad rap.” Considering songs like Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” Cardi B’s “W.A.P.,” and N.W.A.’s “Fuck Tha Police,” maybe there’s a reason people struggle to see its artistry.

But at best, rap can be poetry. And perhaps no better case study of that philosophical depth exists than Sou…

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In a move as baffling as it is unifying, President Donald J. Trump signed his 17,473rd executive order early Monday morning, officially banning the sale, possession, and consumption of ice cream across the United States.

The executive order was scribbled on a loose leaf sheet of paper with what appeared to be a variety of…

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As Easter Sunday threatens to collide with geopolitical collapse and the sudden rollout of martial law, many Americans are asking one question:

“Does this mean I don’t have to go to my in-laws’ house?”

“Look, I’m not saying I’m hoping for the collapse of civil society per se…” explained Philadelphia resident…

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In the wake of this week’s earth-shattering revelation that Trump’s senior team accidentally added The Atlantic’s editor-in-chief to a Signal group chat where they were discussing military operations in Yemen, political observers across the spectrum have b…

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In the past year, the world has struggled to keep up with the advent of AI. From masterpiece-creating to break-up text-writing, AI has changed the way that many people use the internet entirely. There are few industries it hasn’t yet dipped its robotic arms into.

But in spite of it all, one area of life that reliably makes me feel as …

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Quietly released in 2023, the straight-to-Vudu reboot of the 1989 classic, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, is a movie some will claim never needed to exist. But more conscientious viewers, like myself, will argue that the movie is not only the thrill we all need this holiday season… but single-handedly o…

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On Tuesday, adult film star and actress in the cult classic Constrained and in Pain, was confirmed by the senate in a near-unanimous vote. After a contentious few weeks of trials for RFK Jr. and Pete Hegseth, legislators were surprised to find that reviewing her record was an impressively breezy ordeal by comparison. De…

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“When I walked into the room that day… I had no idea what I was getting into,” explained the man, his eyes tired and worn, and his hoodie soiled and tattered.

His five o’clock shadow looked like Christmas lights that had lingered into February. He was hunched over in a plastic chair with arms reflect…

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It was early Monday morning when Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called President Donald Trump to discuss the 25% import tariffs set to take place the following day.

“Hi Bibi,” Trump answered the phone. The sound of Doritos crunching could be heard over the speaker.

“It’s… uh… it’s Justin. Justin Trudeau.”

“Who the F*** is J…

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When Ben bought a cardboard lawn sign on Amazon prior to the 2020 election, he could hardly have anticipated the ride it would go on. It read “Make Orwell Fiction Again,” and it was bought in the naive hope that less dystopian days would come again soon. Little did Ben know that the normalcy he craved wouldn’t return — not by 2024, …

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In the heart of New York City, an eager crowd gathered in anticipation of the much-hyped Super-Duper-Ultra-Rare Pinkish Moon. From mothers and children to astronomers and moon costume-clad fanatics, hopes for the evening were high.

But as the night wore on, it became increasingly evident that the celestial event was, well…

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Following the tragedies that befell Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, investors were less than enthused about the burgeoning Dino-tourism industry. After a lengthy battle of legal disputes and a record breaking six and a half months without any T-Rex escapes in any of the dinosaur parks th…

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I wrote this piece a little while back but thought it might still be a relevant one to reshare.

It was a brisk day in January when the former president, Donald J. Trump, awoke in bed with an ache on his forehead. Rolling out of bed to the crinkling sound of the Big Mac wrappers from the night before, he made his way to the mirror. What appeared almost like the beginnings of little red horns had started to emerge from his forehead.

“FAKE NEWS!” he uttered to himself inexplicably.

By February, though, the horns had grown difficult to ignore. His public appearances began to draw more and more comments about the now-undeniable horns protruding from his forehead.

“Trump Sprouts Devil Horns” A New York Times headline read.

“Former President Revealed as Apparent Satan” reported the Washington post.

Fox news however had a different take on the matters of the day. “Trans People Are Trying to Steal Your Guns” their top article read.

In a rally, Trump dismissed the claims of his devil horns as “a woke conspiracy” before going on an incomprehensible tirade about “fake news” and having to “flush toilets too many times.” His supporters cheered ecstatically.

By the time May rolled around, the fiery red devil horns were now roughly eight inches distended from the 45th President’s forehead. The flaming red horns, however, lost the 2024 presidential candidate surprisingly little support from his followers.

“Let me be clear, the appearance of these ‘devil horns’ on President Trump’s forehead is yet another baseless attack from the left. We should be focusing on the real issues facing our nation, not these trivial matters. The real dangers here are all of these radical gender ideologies on the left,” explained Senator Ted Cruz nasally as he wore a smirk that read, “I kick puppies in my free-time.”

Other Republican politicians, too, were quick to shed light on the matter.

“Well, uhh, these so-called ‘devil horns’ are just another attempt by the left to tarnish President Trump’s reputation. I think it’s important to focus on his policies and accomplishments, rather than getting caught up in these distractions. Besides, if you ask me, those horns might just be a sign of his strong leadership and determination to fight for the American people,” explained Lindsay Graham of the apparent Lucifer in the flesh.

Evangelical Christians, too, were surprisingly unbothered by Trump’s sudden transformation.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation, I come to you today with a revelation! President Trump’s newfound ‘devil horns’ are not a sign of evil, oh no, but a divine message from above. You see, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and He has chosen our President to bear these horns as a symbol of his unwavering commitment to challenge the status quo,” explained one minister with admirable confidence.

“So let us not be misled by the sudden emergence of ‘devil horns’ on President Trump’s forehead!” he continued.

“Hallelujah,” roared a few of the church’s congregants in gleeful unison.

“Just as God tested Abraham, He is now testing our faith in the face of adversity. So let us stand firm, knowing that even these seemingly sinister horns cannot shake our belief in the greater purpose of the Almighty! Trump 2024!”

By May, Trump’s poll numbers had actually gone up, in spite of his questionable identity as the gatekeeper of a fiery netherworld. Seeing this, Trump had a change of tune regarding the now-foot-long beaming red satanic horns on his head.

“Let me tell you, these horns, they’re tremendous. They’re the best horns, the biggest horns, believe me. I’ve heard from people, very important people, that Sleepy Joe has been asking around about how to get some horns of his own. Unbelievable,” he ranted to a roar of applause, cheers, hurrahs and unprompted “build the wall” chants.

This article was originally published on Medium.

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Her name was cutie2145 and she had a pure soul. From the way she waddled across that dance floor, I knew she was the one. In those bulbous white eyes were eternities of grace.

We struck up a conversation. As the disco lights from the penguin night club danced through her hair, I knew I wanted to bring her back to my igloo. But I was an …

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Hello all, Ben here. I’m excited to introduce you to my good friend, second ever guest on The Gen Z Report, and honorary member of Gen Z for the day, ! Make sure to subscribe so she can one day fulfill her 90s dream of takin…

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