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The Gen Z Report
The Gen Z Report
“Wait, Does Being Under Martial Law Mean I Don’t Need to See My In-Laws?”
Satire

“Wait, Does Being Under Martial Law Mean I Don’t Need to See My In-Laws?”

With Easter on the horizon, martial law polls at an all-time high

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Ben Ulansey
Apr 18, 2025
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The Gen Z Report
The Gen Z Report
“Wait, Does Being Under Martial Law Mean I Don’t Need to See My In-Laws?”
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Photo by Sebastian Coman Photography on Unsplash

As Easter Sunday threatens to collide with geopolitical collapse and the sudden rollout of martial law, many Americans are asking one question:

“Does this mean I don’t have to go to my in-laws’ house?”

“Look, I’m not saying I’m hoping for the collapse of civil society per se…” explained Philadelphia resident…

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